TO HAVE CHANGE YOU MUST CREATE IT

 

Do you know anyone who doesn’t struggle in some area of their life? It could be success hasn’t come quick enough or maybe not at all. Some struggle with careers, health or relationships. Whether we want to admit it or not, we all struggle with something and that something is change: needing or wanting to have or be something new or different. I work with leaders, followers and everyone in between and something I learned is we all struggle, that includes us. We want or need change and the struggle is when we don’t get it.

 

The number one reason most of us struggle with change is because we don’t know “how” to change. We weren’t given the manual or instructions showing us “how” to do it. If the brochure were available, the world might be a different place, and I would be out of a job. Luckily for me, the printer ran out of ink and I am busy.

 

Do you, a member of your team or someone in your organization want or need to change? If so, I have good news. I found the manual along with the process to create change and I want to share it with you. You can have it now, served on a silver platter, or later, gift wrapped and waiting to be opened. Either way, change is yours to have whenever you want it. It’s simple, just not easy.

 

THE MANUAL FOR CHANGE:

STEP 1: WANT
The first step in having change is to “want” it. Do you want change? Are you ready for change? Will you do what needs to be done to have it? Are you currently willing to invest the time and resources to create it? “Want” is the first step and for a good reason. Without it, the desire for it, change is not possible. Change starts here and goes nowhere without it.

SUGGESTION:
Take a few minutes and sit somewhere quiet. It’s time to be serious and start smart. Ask yourself what kind of change you want. What do you want to be or have? By doing so, will it allow you to be happy and more successful? When the answer is yes, move to the next step.

 

STEP 2: WHAT
You might want change, but do you know “what” to change? Many of us want change and some of us must change. For us to change, we need to know “what” to change. This stage is critical and most overlooked. When you know what to change, ask yourself, what is important about having it? Spend as much time as necessary, be as specific as you can and as clear as possible. What change do you want and why?

 

SUGGESTION:
Choose something you truly want to change, something which will help you be better at whatever it is you want to be better at. You might consider inviting others to help you choose, a sponsor or someone, to be your accountability partner. This person will give you valuable feedback, provide suggestions and hold you accountable. Having others involved shows you are serious and that the change you want is important. Going on stage is not easy and it helps us grow and be on our best behavior.

 

STEP 3: HOW
Create a plan. The process for change is simple and all you need to do is follow the steps. Knowing “how” to change can be the difference which makes the difference. By having a plan, you are creating a process, removing risk and increasing your chances for success. Follow your steps and change will move from possible to likely.

 

SUGGESTION:
KISS: Keep It Simple Stupid. The plan should be easy to read and simple to follow. It must have the change you want to have along with your action steps- the things you must be doing to have whatever it is you want to have. It is no different than baking a cake. Follow the directions and your mouth will water. Don’t follow the directions and the cake goes in the garbage.

 

STEP 4: TIME
Good things take time and you are no exception. I have witnessed good people wanting change, being clear about the change they want to have, knowing how to have it and why it’s important, to later fail because they didn’t give it a chance. They convinced themselves it wasn’t possible and maybe even cursed the process. Change is simple if you follow the steps. It’s not easy because we are dealing with people, egos, beliefs and all those good things. Change is simple if you let it be simple and give it time.

 

SUGGESTION:
When working on yourself, be easy. Sometimes we are too hard on ourselves. Allow yourself enough time to do what needs to be done to have the change you want to have. If change is important, and likely it is, you might consider investing enough time to be sure that you are getting it right.

 

MY STRUGGLE

We all struggle with things in our lives, both professionally and personally. I would like to share my struggle and hope you are inspired to share yours.

 

STEP 1: Do I want change?
Yes, I want change. I want to be more productive, successful and happy. When I am happy, my clients have a better experience as well as everyone else around me. Yes, I am willing to invest my time, make available all resources and do whatever is necessary to change. I am in!

 

STEP 2: What do I change?
I am struggling with something now. It’s my phone and I want to be on it less. If you catch me at a good time, like now, I will admit it. The excuse: I am on it for work. I am available for clients and partners and don’t want to miss anything. Therefore, I am on it checking things I have already checked and looking at things I have already looked at and most likely don’t need to be looking at. Who am I kidding? It’s clear to me what I need to change. I will share this with my family and ask them to pay attention and hold me accountable. They will provide feedback and give suggestions. They may even change themselves. That’s a bonus and something we can talk about another time. I struggle with this, along with other things, and I want to change.

 

STEP 3: How do I change?
Ok, I want change and I know what to change. So, how do I change? Let me ask myself how. Hold a moment……. OK, here is what I have to say. To be on my phone less and be more present I should consider:

1- Leaving my phone on the table, by the front door, when I come in.
2- When it rings or if I get a message or email, I can answer. When finished, put the phone back.
3- When going to bed, the phone remains downstairs, on the table by the front door. I am up early, and the world will be ok with me not on my phone.
4- When using my phone, ask myself what the purpose is of what I am about to do, an estimate of how long I intend to be and when complete, put the phone back on the table.

Four things to do is enough to start. I can add more later. All I have to do is do what’s on my list and check in with others to see how well I am doing. Simple? Yes, and I am sure it won’t be easy.

 

STEP 4: Time
I want to change, know what to change and how to change. That makes the last step easy, right? In theory, yes, but life is not theory, it’s real. I am going to give myself ninety (90) days and check in with my family every week, ask what they notice and see how I am doing.

 

I chose a personal example of change to showcase this process and how simple it can be to implement. I want to change and be better. It’s important to me and when I get better so does everyone around me.

 

I enjoy working with people like you and me- successful people who want to be more successful. If you or a member of your organization is struggling and wants to be better, reach out and let’s explore what’s possible. The only problem you may have is you didn’t do it sooner.

 

*Disclaimer: Experience change at your own risk. Individuals or groups may experience side effects including but not limited to periods of: success, happiness, fulfillment and/or being a part of something greater than themselves.

 

Enjoy the ride!

 

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Leadership + Executive Coach Robert Paulson

 

 

 

 

 

Robert Paulson is an international executive + leadership coach and can be reached at Info@RobertPaulson.coach

Success stems from KNOWING and happens from DOING

Most successful people know what needs to be done. They know how to do their job, how to create a plan and how to get results. Knowledge is critical, and life teaches us it’s not what you know, it’s what you do with what you know.

 

I am an executive coach and one lucky person. I have the honor and privilege of spending quality time with leaders and other successful people. I see a lot, hear a lot and learn a lot. Something I noticed and something you may already know is, we know enough. Yes, we know enough about whatever it is we need to know about. What’s missing is simply doing it. You might want to change careers, start a new business, prioritize, delegate or make something happen. Whatever it is, it’s likely you already know enough about what needs to happen and all you need to do is do it. If it sounds simple, it’s because it is simple, it’s just not easy.

 

We live in the Information Age and data is at our fingertips. We can know anything about anything at any time. The belief we must know more is no more real than the earth is flat. Some call it analysis paralysis and others call it an excuse. Have you ever felt like you were accomplishing something just by knowing what to do? You know what needs to happen and you know how to make it happen, but nothing changes. I have, and it doesn’t work. It might make you feel better and even like you have accomplished something. Sometimes we get stuck and we fool ourselves into thinking we are doing something when we are simply knowing. The reality is we need action to get us from where we are to where we want to go.

 

My role as a coach is not to teach. It’s to listen, learn and facilitate. Listen to the situation, learn what needs to happen and do something about it. I am not a genius and certainly no smarter than you or anyone else. What I have learned is success stems from knowing and happens from doing. Being addicted to knowing leaves little to no time for doing. Do you know what I mean?

 

The purpose of this article is to remind you of something you may already know: you know enough. It’s time to do something and the good news is, you already know what to do.

 

Enjoy the ride!

 

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Leadership + Executive Coach Robert Paulson

 

 

 

 

 

Robert Paulson is an international executive + leadership coach and can be reached at Info@RobertPaulson.coach

What word do you use the most and when removed makes the biggest difference?

 

If you guessed “I”, you are correct. Wikipedia lists it as #10 on its list of most common used English words. Number one is “the” followed by “be”, “to”, “of”, “and”, “a” and so on. As you continue reading and as the day goes on, you may notice how often we use the word “I”. Be warned, you may be shockingly surprised to learn how often.

 

Even though we don’t use the word “I” when playing Scrabble, we do use it often and some of us too much. Maybe it’s because “I” is what we know best and it’s “I” who has something to say. We spend most of our time looking at life from “I” and maybe that’s why we revert to it most. It’s who we are and what we know. But, and that’s a BIG but, it’s possible we use it too much and when we do there are consequences. What happens when we use the word “I” too much? What do we do when we are in a conversation and the other person takes us on an “I” ride? What are you thinking and how are you feeling? What happens to rapport when we are a victim of “I”?

 

Have you heard the expression “what’s in it for me”? Most people are interested in how something relates to themselves, not the other person. We want to know how we can have or do something. When engaged we want to know how whatever it is being discussed, written or mentioned is going to benefit themselves, not “I”. We are humans and it’s how we are wired. We hear something and immediately try and figure out its relevance to oneself. We can only guess that it serves one person and that person is not you. What if we communicated like a waiter or someone who serves us? What if we were more interested in serving the other person than serving ourselves? Have you ever experienced a waiter letting you know what they wanted for dinner before asking you? If so, what would the tip look like, and would you go back?

 

The idea of writing about “I” came about here on LinkedIn. I was scrolling through my feed and noticed a video post by someone wanting to share something. Can you guess what word struck me within the first sentence? Can you guess what word kept coming at me like I was being attacked by the “I” bully? I noticed my lip was swelling and my eye was closing. I hit the floor- disconnected and beaten down. The waitress I was hoping to serve me a proper meal turned out to be a prized “I” fighter looking to score an “I” trophy. Am I exaggerating, of course. I can only guess this was not the intent of the person sharing the video. It’s possible this person had something good to share and they got in their own way. Yes, you do it, I do it, we all do it.

 

What happens when we are conscious of what others want and are mindful about it? What if we were more aware of how we use “I” and the way in which it serves the people we want to serve? I challenge you and I challenge myself to be more aware when using the word “I”. It will challenge us to speak from the first person (I) while being mindful of how the second person (the person we are speaking with) is influenced by what we have to say. It’s possible we all benefit.

 

If you like fun and want to play around some, here is a great exercise. You can do this in the office, at home or anywhere. Start by choosing a partner or partners. Next, agree with the other person(s), whoever uses the word “I” pays the other person(s) one dollar every time he/she says “I”. It’s fun, expensive and a great way to be more mindful.

 

I want to thank the person who posted the video inspiring me to write this article. If you are on LinkedIn or any other social platform, or participate in influencing, inspiring or sharing with others, you might consider pausing as you approach the word “I” and consider what the others person wants to eat first. Remember the most ordered item on the menu is the “what’s in it for me”.

 

Enjoy the ride!

 

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Leadership + Executive Coach Robert Paulson

 

 

 

 

 

Robert Paulson is an international executive + leadership coach and can be reached at Info@RobertPaulson.coach

Your Thoughts Create Your Reality: Want to go for a ride?

It happened again! It feels like I am writing an article I wrote a short while back and it’s not. My fingers are busy typing away as I sit here at the breakfast table alone, back hunched over, face red and my heart beating quickly.

 

Earlier this morning while lying in bed, I noticed the part of me that likes to be in control was also awake. It wasted no time in telling the rest of me to go back to bed. It did not want to be up early and was on a mission to convince the rest of me I was tired and needed rest. It wanted every part of me to know I only had a few hours of sleep and tried to close the deal by reminding me how comfortable I was lying in bed. Then, out of nowhere, and perfectly timed, my creative side stepped forward and cleverly guided my attention to how good I would feel after I got up and went for a run. This part of me wanted all of me to know how great my day would be after I got up and went for a morning run. I allowed myself to think about how good I would feel after getting out of bed. I knew if I allowed myself to focus on the results long enough something would happen. Then out of nowhere, BAM! Something happened. It was like an explosion and sure enough the next thing I knew I was tying my laces and heading out the door.

 

As I opened the front door and stepped outside I couldn’t help and notice the rising sun. There it was, right in front of me. The bright pink and orange sun pouring over the tree tops. You couldn’t help to stop and notice. If you stared long enough you could see the sun rising. As I stood there looking up I had this feeling life was rewarding me for making the right decision. I felt everything was good and noticed there was a newly planted thought inside my head suggesting I am where I am because it’s where I should be. It felt great. I don’t know and I can only guess it was life’s way of communicating with me. I noticed the air was slightly cool with a dash of it’s almost summer. I noticed my breathing was calm and my thoughts were soft. Everything felt right and I had to remind myself I was up for a reason and had some running to do. I stretched for a few moments and off I went, down the steps, across the grass and through the path to the street where I began my morning journey.

 

For me, when I run, my mind opens and thoughts come freely. It’s like a form of meditation. It was only a moment or two before my mind took a turn and started to think about all the things I had to do and what could go wrong if I didn’t get them done. I was thinking about the previous day’s meeting. Did I do a good job? What did everyone think of me? Oh no, I can’t forget to return Stan’s email and don’t forget to call Nancy. I have a presentation to prepare and what if I don’t do a good job? I have so many things to do and there is not enough time in the day. Before I knew it, my mind was hijacked. What happened? Someone got behind the wheel of my car and started driving. The destination was nowhere good. How can so many unwelcome thoughts arrive without an invitation? It was like having wedding crashers on my special day. They were fired up and ready to turn the event upside down.

 

It must have been fourteen or sixteen minutes into my run when I heard a large bang on the pavement to my right. It was only two or three feet away and it startled me. Actually, it scared the living day lights out of me. It sounded like someone dropped a big bag of flour from the sky. I looked over and noticed a squirrel laying there, on the ground and in the middle of the road. It must have fallen from the tree and hit the street. The little guy managed to get himself together and ran off. My heart was pumping and I was aware of everything around me. At that very moment, something changed. The previous thoughts that were running wild were gone. I was in control, sitting behind the wheel and ready to drive somewhere good. I started to think about how good I feel and how the squirrel snapped me out of a trance. Thank you squirrel!

 

The hijacker was gone. The wedding crashers moved on and my mind was starting to fill with good thoughts. I couldn’t help and notice how beautiful a morning it was and how my family was home happy and asleep. I was excited about the day ahead and how it was filled with opportunity. There were so many things to be grateful for. This was much different than a few moments ago. My mind was open and I was present. Good, clean and creative thoughts were flowing. I was back and I liked it!

 

As I continued with my morning journey I started to wonder how what just happened was a learning experience and how the squirrel dropping from the sky helped me get back on track. How great is that, replacing unwanted thoughts with wanted thoughts? It didn’t take long before things started to make sense. Today’s experience proved we are what we think about. Our lives are a reflection of our thoughts and whatever we think about we invite into our life. Have you ever considered how much time you spend thinking about things that don’t help you get where you want to go? It’s ok because you are not alone. If you are anything like me it happens more than I would like to admit.

 

We cannot control other people and we can control what we think about. What you think about controls how you feel and how you feel controls what you say and ultimately what you do. Can you see how important it is to have thoughts support who you are and what you want? What becomes possible when your thoughts are aligned with what you want? For me it creates a feeling that everything is possible. What about you?

 

 

If you have time and you are curious let’s have some fun. Follow me and allow yourself to remember a time when you were happy. It’s ok if you need some time to think about it. Think of a time when you were enjoying whatever it is you were enjoying. It could be anything so long as it is something that made you happy. It’s possible you see an image and when you do, allow yourself to hold it. Maybe you were alone or maybe you were with people. Once that image is present notice everything about you and how happy you are. Now, with that image being present ask yourself what you must have been thinking about for you to be doing what you were doing when you were happy. Certainly you were thinking about something and clearly that something made you happy. For you to be (feel) happy you must have had thoughts that made you happy. It’s your car and you are driving. Yes, it’s simple and it’s something you can control.

 

What must I think about to have whatever it is I want to have?

 

I believe, and maybe you do too, everything starts with a thought. Every dream, every invention and everything we see around us.

 

Life’s message: Our lives are a product of our thoughts. We are what we think about most. Change your thoughts, change your life!

 

What do you want in your life right now? Possibly it’s a new career, a big deal to close, a merger, new relationship or client, starting a new project/company or anything else for that matter. Now ask yourself what thoughts must you have to support what it is you want. Remember, your hands are on the wheel and your arse is in the seat. This means you are driving and that means you are in control!

 

Enjoy the ride!

 

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Leadership + Executive Coach Robert Paulson

 

 

 

 

 

Robert Paulson is an international executive + leadership coach and can be reached at Info@RobertPaulson.coach

How Something New From Someone New Can Help You Here and Now

Is it possible you have something that needs to be solved? If yes, I have a formula to share……..

 

How good are you at giving advice or solving other people’s problems? It’s possible you can always find something to say or provide a possible solution to just about anything, so long as it is not your problem. Does this sound familiar? It does for me and I witness it regularly, in business, at home and/or just about everywhere. Maybe you know someone in your life that is always so eager to give advice or promise a solution every time, no matter the topic or situation. You may have an image of that person right now. Have you ever wondered why it is so easy to give advice and offer solutions when you are not the one experiencing the problem? It’s called perspective. Yes, that’s right, perspective; the ability to see things from a different position or point of view.

 

You may know what perspective means and you may also have experienced walking in another person’s shoes. What you may not know is bringing a new and/or alternative perspective to any situation can be the difference which makes the difference. Maybe you have heard the quote: “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.” Think about that for a moment. If you have an issue or a problem and you cannot find a proper solution AND you are approaching the situation the same way, doing the same things, then how can you expect a different result? Let’s look at this from another perspective. If you want something new you must try something new. Yes, it’s that easy and it is easy only if you let it be easy.

 

It’s possible you have a situation now. Maybe it’s getting a promotion, finding a new job, dealing with a difficult person, getting healthy, creating a team, doing more sales or starting a new business. We have all experienced being stuck and it feels as bad as the word sounds. What we often forget to realize is we get “stuck” because we approach the situation the same way, over and over, without adding/changing perspective, and thinking something new is going to happen. Yes, it sounds insane because it is insane. I am a coach and one of the many reasons coaching can be so effective is exactly this, adding new perspective.

 

So, what makes perspective so helpful in solving problems and providing solutions? There are many answers and one is the ability to separate yourself from your emotions. We as humans are full of emotions. Emotions are beautiful and they can also hold us back. When we become emotional we cloud our thoughts and our ability to be creative and add new perspective. Removing or limiting emotions can be very helpful when searching for a solution. Another reason adding perspective is helpful is it invites new beliefs and experiences. When we approach a situation, we bring along our own personal experiences and beliefs. As good as our experiences and beliefs may be they are still our own and adding new ones is always helpful when searching for a solution. One of my favorites is being curious, allowing yourself to be open, not knowing, and wanting to receive new ideas like a young child asking his/her parent a question. When we are curious we are in a resourceful state and being resourceful promotes learning which can be helpful in all situations. Last and certainly not least is knowledge. We know what we know and that’s all we know. When we are open and allow new knowledge or information to enter the situation new possibilities arrive. The following is a simple formula which may help solve your next problem. You may consider using it, it works!

 

Formula for adding perspective:

1-What is the problem, issue or situation? You must be clear and honest with yourself and/or your team, otherwise insanity will be your new best friend.

2-Identify who can add new perspective and a) be honest b) have no emotional attachments c) bring a different set of beliefs d) have unique experience(s) e) be curious f) be knowledgeable.

3- Listen. This may be the most difficult part of the process. Feedback is priceless so long as you are open.

4- Try new things. The only way change is possible is when we try new things. It’s possible the more we try, the closer we get to our desired outcome.

 

One of the first quotes I remember when I was young was “If you cannot change the situation you must change the way you look at the situation”. I don’t remember who said it and I do remember it changed my world. It might have been my first deep thought. Yes, the content was great and what was even greater was what it meant for me. I don’t know and I can only guess that was the difference which made a difference for me.

 

In order for change to happen, we must change. You cannot change others and you can change yourself. Be open, be curious and be willing to try new things. It is that easy.

 

Enjoy the ride!

 

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Leadership + Executive Coach Robert Paulson

 

 

 

 

 

Robert Paulson is an international executive + leadership coach and can be reached at Info@RobertPaulson.coach

What happens when you listen to the voice?

What happens when you listen to the voice? You know what voice I am talking about.

 

It’s 5:44am. I just got back. My glasses are fogged, my heart is beating fast, and drops of sweat are falling from my head as I sit here on the couch writing this post. I woke at 3:50am today and finally rolled out of bed at 4:14am after lying in bed waiting for something to happen, something that would motivate me to get my day going.

 

I am up early a lot and most of the time I am doing something healthy. I wondered if maybe I should go back to sleep. It’s early and my bed is comfortable. Then the voice in my head started to get louder. It was letting me know about the thing I wanted to do before I went to bed last night, you know, wake up early and go for a run. It was doing exactly what I suggested. It wanted me to get up, go outside, get some exercise and watch the sun rise. It wanted me to think about how I would feel after I went for a run. The more I stayed in bed, the louder the voice got. It asked me what my day would look like if I got up now and went for a run and what it might look like if I didn’t get up and go for a run. I knew if I allowed myself to focus on how good I would feel long enough that I would eventually get motivated enough to get my butt out of bed and go. It was clear to me that if I did I would feel so much better about myself and therefore so much more would be accomplished. A part of me was firing back saying that I woke up early the day before and went for a run. A debate was going on and there was no remote to change channels. I was present enough to know the other side of me, the part that is good at making excuses, was trying to bully the part of me that “knows” what I should be doing. Out of nowhere, I had a spark of energy that rocketed me out of bed. It was like a whip snapping me in the rear. I was up!

 

What was it that got me out of bed? Why did I choose to listen to the part of me that knows? I turned my phone flashlight on (I didn’t want to wake my wife and I think I did) and searched for my sneakers, grabbed my running pants, put on a long sleeve shirt and headed down stairs.

 

I tied my sneaker laces firmly and off I went. As I ran down the dark dirt path that leads to the paved public streets, my mind started doing what it does best, thinking and trying to figure things out. I noticed the birds chirping. There were several, all with different pitches. It was nice. I noticed the sound of my sneakers hitting the ground. I heard my breath and felt alive. There was no one around and I liked it. My mind loves quiet, it has less distractions and plenty of time to allow the thoughts that want to be heard to come forward and be noticed.

 

I started thinking about my careers; consulting and coaching. Oh yeah, and my apparel project. I was having a “moment”. I was reflecting on where I was in my life from another perspective. I was looking down on me as me but noticing me. It’s “meta” and something I learned in NLP. I was looking at where I am now and how it made me feel. I felt good. I noticed how each one of my interests is something I enjoy doing. They all mean a lot to me. I noticed how it made me feel and how happy I am to be where I am. Not financially. It was about me being in a place that felt right. The voice was pointing out to me how my life’s purpose, helping others get what they want, and my behaviors, actually doing it, were aligned. To me this is happiness. Doing what I believe in and making a difference. Good stuff!

 

I looked up and noticed the moon and the sun were present at the same time. Wow, this was cool and it’s not something I typically think about. The voice wanted me to notice this and possibly compare it to my life. It’s possible that it wanted me to know how lucky I am to be doing the things I like. Just like the sun and the moon are doing what they are doing at the same time, so was I. Was this life’s way of letting me know I am doing what I should be doing?

 

I must have been 2 miles in on a 3.2 mile run when I passed a side road and considered taking it. If I took it I would be adding more distance and time to today’s run. This wasn’t in the brochure. Then out of nowhere I felt a spark of energy, just like the spark that rocketed me out of bed earlier. I turned back and decided to take a different route, just as the voice was suggesting. It was only a moment or two (it felt much longer) when the part of me that can make excuses was trying to tell the other side of me that I didn’t have to add more time and distance and I was already up early doing something good. Did I really need to add more time and distance? What would I get out of doing this? The other side of me must have been feeling brave today because it stood up to the bully again, the excuse side, and said I can do more, that’s why! And that’s exactly what I did. I turned around and went another direction.

 

As soon as I made the adjustment and set new coordinates, my mind resumed feeding me more good thoughts. It was almost like I was being rewarded for doing something extra. So, I started thinking about the obstacles in my life. The current ones (yes, I have more than I would like to admit) as well as the ones of my past (I have enough for both you and me). It was like magic. I had this amazing feeling that everything in my life is the way it should be. The good, the bad and the ugly. I felt like I just finished putting together a thousand piece puzzle. Everything fit and I had no extra pieces. I don’t know and I can only guess, but it seems like the voice was trying to let me know something. It wanted me to know that life is not static. Sometimes we must take new roads that we don’t expect and when we do, it’s for a reason. We may not always know the reasons at the time but there are reasons. There are reasons to everything we do. I was being rewarded for being up early and fed treats for doing something different. I was open and I was listening.

 

Today my head feels like someone was inside and planted a seed. I am suddenly aware of a new belief. Was this the seed that was planted? This belief feels familiar and new at the same time. It’s the belief that I am here now because it’s where I belong; that I create my reality and I am responsible for everything I have done, everything I am doing and everything I will be doing. This certainly wasn’t in the brochure when I decided to take a new route.

 

My run was coming to close and before it did the voice shared with me a couple of good ideas I should consider for the consulting work I do. They appear to be great ideas and things worth exploring. I was really feeling good about listening to the voice. It knows and it wants to share what it knows.

 

Life’s message to me and possibly life’s message to you through me is that we are where we are because we should be. We might consider accepting our lives for what it is and not for what we think it should be. What would happen if we accepted this reality? How nice would it be?

 

Sometimes I can be hard on myself and think about all the things that haven’t worked out. And it’s now, right now, that I realize that it’s all the setbacks, obstacles and failures that make me who I am today. It’s part of my life’s journey. Today’s experience confirms that I know where I am going in life and it’s ok that I don’t always know how I am going to get there.

 

Through NLP (Steve Leeds and Rachel Hott) I learned not knowing is one of my most powerful resources.

 

Today is a good day. It’s a day that I have been waiting for and it may not have happened if I didn’t get out of bed when I did. I wonder what kind of experience I would have had if I didn’t go back and take a different route? There is a lot I am curious about. I am wondering now if this is life’s way of letting me know it’s ok to experience new things, embrace obstacles/setbacks and allow myself to not always know?

 

We all have our own setbacks, obstacles and challenges. They are all important because it’s part of life. It’s our mindset that keeps up going and it’s our mindset that will take us wherever we want to go. If we focus on failure we will experience more failure. If we focus on success we will experience more success.

 

I posted something this week and wasn’t planning on doing another until next week. Today’s post is not about me. It’s about exploring the things you know you should be doing and doing them. It’s about accepting, believing and being open. I am so grateful for what I experienced today. There is much more for me to explore and experience. I am grateful and blessed to be here sharing this experience with you. Now it’s time to shower up and go about the day. Thanks for being curious.

 

Enjoy the ride!

 

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Leadership + Executive Coach Robert Paulson

 

 

 

 

 

Robert Paulson is an international executive + leadership coach and can be reached at Info@RobertPaulson.coach

The simplest way to make someone feel important……..

A true story

I frequent the same local grocery market and for whatever reason, I get the same cashier almost every time. No matter what line I choose, there she is, the same cashier. Something about this person is different and I cannot make it out. She looks down, doesn’t make eye contact with customers and doesn’t smile. I don’t know her and for some reason I feel sad when I see her. I cannot explain what it is and I feel her sadness. When I place my items on the counter to be scanned, I make it a point to say hello and ask her how she is doing. Sometimes she replies with “ok” and most other times she doesn’t reply at all.

 

I used to think about her whenever I passed the grocery store. I wondered what she was doing and what it was that could be making her feel the way she feels. Could she be a quiet person who doesn’t talk much? I think yes and I also think there could be more.

 

Then one day, on my way home from work, I went to the grocery store to grab a few things for dinner. This time something felt different. I finished my shopping and headed to checkout. As usual, I went to the shortest line and guess who was the cashier? As I was waiting on line, I noticed the cashier was wearing a name tag. I didn’t remember her wearing one before and that’s ok. As I approached the cashier and placed my items to be scanned, I looked over and noticed her name was “Mary’. In a cheerful and uplifting voice I said, “Hello Mary” and paused. Then I said “how are you today?”. It was like magic. Mary’s head lifted, her eyes opened wide and bright and she gave me the biggest smile. She stopped what she was doing; she shifted her head and stared at me as if I were someone important she hadn’t seen in a long time. Though it was only a few seconds of silence before Mary responded, it felt like hours. The feeling I once had for Mary was replaced with a new feeling. It was a good feeling. I smiled back and Mary asked me if it were ok she used her store card to save me money on my purchase. Of course I said yes and let her do what she was doing and thanked her. I then swiped my bank card and before I could sign, Mary was separating my groceries and packing them in bags. She asked me where my daughter and son were. I was pleasantly surprised that she remembered I had a son and daughter. Mary obviously knew me and my family. How could we know each other and not know each other? Before I could respond, the person behind me on line was pushing forward, placing their items on the counter behind me. There wasn’t much time to talk. As I was moving it along, I put my last bag in the cart when Mary smiled and said “thank you”.  As I was walked away, heading for the exit, I heard Mary’s voice from behind, “hello sir, how are you today?”  I looked back and saw a different Mary. This Mary looked happy. The feeling I once had about Mary was gone.

 

I don’t know and I can only guess that Mary wanted to be recognized and feel important. She comes in contact with so many people on a regular basis. Some of them see her several times per week and don’t even know her name. I know this to be true because I was one of them.

 

I visit a coffee shop on my way to work every so often. Thankfully the people who work there wear name tags. My ability to remember names is not the best but it’s getting better. As I am waiting on line, I make an effort to read the name tags of the people working. I enjoy starting my order by greeting them with their name. It must be 90% or greater that they smile and respond in a way that feels different when I greet them by their name. It not only makes them feel good but it also gives me a nice feeling too. Sometimes the person behind the counter will respond with “how did you know my name?”  I enjoy seeing the look on their face when a complete stranger addresses them by their name. I know this to be true because when I wear a name tag and people greet me by my name I feel important too.

 

How important is it for you to be recognized? How does it make you feel when someone remembers your name? For me it’s very important. It means the other person is taking time to recognize you. They are showing respect and letting you know you matter.

 

Remembering people’s names is a skill I learned at Dale Carnegie. Life has proven that when you slow down and appreciate the people around you, life becomes special.

 

One of the simplest and most rewarding ways to make someone feel important is by remembering their name and using it often.

 

Dale Carnegie said, “A person’s name is to that person, the sweetest, most important sound in any language”.

 

The next time you are on line or wherever you may be, try calling the other person by their name and notice what happens.

 

Enjoy the ride!

 

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Leadership + Executive Coach Robert Paulson

 

 

 

 

 

Robert Paulson is an international executive + leadership coach and can be reached at Info@RobertPaulson.coach

The resource that will solve any problem…..every time!

Do you know which resource will help you solve any problem…every time?

 

Do you remember the last time you were pressed to make an important decision? Maybe it was whether or not to delegate an important task/project, let a difficult employee stay or go, who to hire, decide if a merger or acquisition were appropriate, whether or not legal action were necessary, what to say for a press release or how to handle a difficult situation. There are many decisions we make every day and at the time each one is the most important. The resource responsible for giving you the answers to all of your questions is called INTUITION. It also happens to be the safest and most powerful resource you possess.

 

Have you ever wondered what intuition is or why it does what it does? For me l, as I am writing this post now, my fingers are moving without instruction. Words are appearing as if they are coming from something other than my consciousness and I like it.

 

Intuition is the part of you that “knows”. It’s the voice that talks to you everyday. It sends you messages and signals you when it’s supposed to. That “gut feeling” is your life angel doing what it does best. It guides, protects and keeps you safe.

 

Some clients ask what they should do when intuition speaks to them. The answer can be simple. Are you present or are you too busy to listen? Intuition is the part of you that knows the answers to the most difficult questions. Some call it a magical phenomenon. I call it your life experiences. It’s your minds way of sharing with you what it has learned and how it can serve you. The question is do you listen?

 

Have you ever wondered how you know what someone is about to say before they say it? What about knowing what happens next during a movie or book you never watched or read before? Possibly you have experienced a strong feeling about something and you didn’t know why? This is intuition at work and it can be very powerful once you learn how to use it.

 

As a coach I help my clients explore the meanings and messages of life.  We spend time listening. There are times when my clients are not resourceful. I help them connect with their inner self and explore what’s possible and create successful outcomes. Most of the time my clients have the answers to their own questions. They simply need some time and an environment that supports curiosity.

 

Have you ever had the answer to a problem or came up with a great idea for a project? Do you wonder where the answer or solution came from?  Think about a time when you made a good decision or thought of a good idea. What mood were you in and how resourceful were you? For many of us we make decisions based on our emotions. What kind of decision will you make when you are angry, scared, nervous, excited, or happy?  Does it make sense to trust in the part of you that has your best interest at heart every time? You may be wondering why it’s so important to trust your intuition. The simple answer is because it “knows”.  It knows you best and knows the best possible outcome based on your life experiences and everything about you. Your intuition is the single most powerful tool in your tool box and should not be discounted or overlooked. It’s the magic button if when pressed will guide you to the most favorable outcome. Its sole purpose is to serve and protect “you”.

 

So what exactly is intuition and why should you trust it? Our intuition is like a computer system that collects data (experiences) and stores them. It then uses these experiences (data) and applies it to the present moment to keep you safe and make you happy. You may have heard the expression, learn from your mistakes. It’s as if you are on a TV game show and someone is giving you all the answers. Do you want the grand prize? If so, all you have to do is listen.

 

I have been in situations which I have never been in before and I know what’s going to happen next. How is that possible? Do you remember watching a person do something that you knew wasn’t safe and watch then watch them get hurt or possibly you have been in a meeting or talking with somebody and you knew what the person was going to say before they said it. Isn’t it amazing that we know what we know and more importantly that we are usually right? It can be our emotions that hold us back. It is when we learn to better manage our emotions and listen to ourselves (intuition) that we can truly be happy and experience great success.

 

The next time your intuition is talking to you or is sending you a message, listen. It’s doing what it’s supposed be doing (serving). It knows you better than you know you.

 

Enjoy the ride!

 

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Leadership + Executive Coach Robert Paulson

 

 

 

 

 

Robert Paulson is an international executive + leadership coach and can be reached at Info@RobertPaulson.coach

Then I believe!

If magic is believing anything is possible, then I believe. What happens when you believe anything is possible? What kind of opportunities become available to you and what doors open? If you truly believe anything is possible, what holds you back from having what you want?

 

It’s 3:58 am. I am awake and the first thought of the day is anything is possible and I like it.

 

Everything changes when you believe anything is possible. From your thoughts, attitude and creativity to your ability to embrace change and connect to something greater than yourself. For me, my mindset and what I believe is like the water in a fish tank. It’s the everything that holds life together and makes it all possible. When you know anything is possible life’s obstacles become minor challenges and temporary setbacks. Could these obstacles and setbacks be life’s way of teaching us something we need to learn? For me, life’s setbacks and obstacles helped me grow, build strength, become wiser. Life’s experiences taught me there is no such thing as failure, only learning experiences. Thank you Steve and Rachel!

 

Everything that exists today started with a thought, a dream and the belief that anything is possible. History proves the possibilities of life are endless and are only restricted to the boundaries we create for ourselves. For many, believing in magic, that anything is possible, is the foundation to having everything you want for yourself, your family and the people around you.

 

Our planet is 4.5 billion years old. We have only been here a short time. In this short time, we (humans) have accomplished so much and continue to do so. What do you think the Wright brothers believed was possible? What about the creation of the Internet? From the wheel to the light bulb, fax machine, automobile and all of the worlds records, man’s (men and women) belief and pursuit to create always starts with magic, a belief.

 

If you knew you couldn’t fail what would you be doing right now? Maybe it’s exactly what you are doing and maybe it’s not. Could the purpose of this post be to remind you of what you already know is true? Yes, life has plans for you. Yes, you can have whatever it is you want most. Yes, you already have all the resources you need to have or create whatever it is you want. The first step is knowing what you want. The next is believing not only in your dreams but that you can do whatever it is you want to do or have.

 

I remember sitting in my office many years ago. I converted my garage to an office. My daughter was just born and I was starting a new venture. Money was very tight and challenges were appearing like stars in the night. There was a part of me that was saying to go work for a company. It’s good and steady, money that will provide for my new family. The other side of me believed anything was possible and I should start my own company and go for it. At that time, I just bought my home, my wife stopped working to stay at home and raise our daughter. Money was as tight as a cork in a wine bottle. I was taking a big chance with a lot to lose. I remember clearly when my bookkeeper, my mother, informed me how bad my financial situation was. I owed the banks a lot of money at a time when no money was coming in. Maybe I should have cut my losses and gone to work for someone else. Maybe not. After all, I had a family and a responsibility. To make a long story short, I continued on. I believed in magic and that what I was doing was not only possible, it was life’s plan for me. The journey wasn’t easy and it might have been the reason why I have less hair today. I reached my destination. I paid back everyone and everything I owed and found what I was looking for. Was it the right thing to do? The answer was only clear after it was clear. Was it the opportunity or the belief in the opportunity that made the difference? Only life knows and I can only guess. We all experience setbacks. Many times we don’t share our setbacks and they remain a secret. Life knows I have experienced many setbacks and continue to do so. We all experience them. The way we think and how we act is the difference which makes the difference. Thank you Robert Dilts!

 

I share this short story with you because sometimes we need a sign or something that will trigger us to do it. To go for it and believe in magic and trust in what’s not always known. Maybe this post is that sign or that trigger that sparks something that needs to be sparked. My life has not been easy. It’s full of volatility and chance. Good times and not so good times. For those who know me, know I believe that life’s best moments happen when a good idea meets magic. You know what kind of magic I am taking about.

 

I read a quote recently and maybe now is a good time to share it. Here it is: “If people aren’t laughing at your dreams, your dreams aren’t big enough”.

 

I know it’s going to be ok because I believe in magic! Do you?

 

Enjoy the ride!

 

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Leadership + Executive Coach Robert Paulson

 

 

 

 

 

Robert Paulson is an international executive + leadership coach and can be reached at Info@RobertPaulson.coach

What do you do?

Ok, you are good at what you do. You have the knowledge, beliefs and intuition to boot. You have some history of success and a few trophies to prove it. Yes, you get it and you know how to do it. So what do you do when your company (or a person in your life) is going down a road bringing you further away rather than closer to your destination? 

 

 A client tells me she doesn’t feel good. Her company decided to implement a strategy that represents a bandage not a complete solution to a problem. This “problem” has been losing the company money and the “bandage” will cost the company even more money and a significant amount of time. She says that she knows a better way, one which is clear and logical. She says her way is not an ego thing, it’s a game plan based on her previous experiences being a VP of a publicly traded company and several successful startup and high growth business ventures. She (and her team) was responsible for the success of several projects that previously had been failing and are now highly successful. The issue now is the Chairman and President are leading the way, playing not to lose. This new plan doesn’t fit the company’s identity and core values. She feels alone and asked me what she should do. I told her it doesn’t matter what I think she should do. What matters is what she believes and how important it is for her to do something about it. 

 

 So there you are, at a fork in the road. You can take a left, which is the do nothing/ say nothing route or you can take a right which is the follow me/ let me show you route. Which way do you go? Is it time to put your experience and everything you know to work or do you do nothing and go with the flow? A lot has to do with your environment, where you are now in life and how the people around you will be affected. Do you believe in yourself? Do you still believe you know what you know? Are you willing to take risk and the possible consequences? I would love to know. 

 

 Let’s assume you are in the same position. Your boss/company or significant person set sail and is headed in the wrong direction. Let us also assume your team leader has positive intentions. He has a game plan and believes it will be successful. The people closest to him have already started rowing in that direction and you know it’s the wrong way. What do you do? Do you risk being singled out and labeled not a team player or even worse? I witness this type of situation often and have been in similar situations. Life taught me every situation is different as is every snow flake. 

 

 So what do you do? Do you take a left or a right? The first question is how would you feel if you did nothing? The next question is how would you feel if you did something? Which feels better and which serves your environment and the people around you best? You might consider testing what it might be like if you did one and then the other. You could imagine what the possible outcomes might be and compare and notice what feels right. You may also consider which path is congruent to your belief system and values. Some of us cannot work in an environment that doesn’t serve our values. If honesty is high on your values, you may consider sharing your thoughts with your boss/team. Maybe you value team work and knowing your entire team wants to go a certain way and you may be ok with it.

 

How do we know what to do? Could not knowing be a valuable resource? Maybe not knowing keeps us on our toes and pushes us outside our comfort zone. What do you think?

 

Enjoy the ride!

 

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Leadership + Executive Coach Robert Paulson

 

 

 

 

 

Robert Paulson is an international executive + leadership coach and can be reached at Info@RobertPaulson.coach